A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
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