It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
The cops high fived after they tackled you
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize