You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Do you still have your period?
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
