New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
