Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize