Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
