i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
