So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i came on her dog
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
