we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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