I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
i believe in u and ur pee
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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