once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
