I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
