If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
