it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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