what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
