i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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