What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
