If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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