So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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