I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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