i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
