I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
