It's chlamydia! Thank God!
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
