i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
