Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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