let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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