yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
