It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
