I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
