failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
