He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
