I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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