you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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