Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
