just come out here and I will go home with you...
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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