I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
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I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
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Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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