Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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