I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
