i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Pooping to opera.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
