Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
