Only a mothe r could love this liver
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize