I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize