I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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