Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
