girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
