And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦â€
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
