I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
