Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Randomize
