Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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