you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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