I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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