I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
