we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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