I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
