i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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