I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
