I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
