I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
