Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
