Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
