i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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