I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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